everything to lose &CAMMIE

[jason adam levito]

When Jason Levito was younger, he found it easy to buy happiness, and to buy his life to the way he wanted it to be. When Jason Levito was younger, people loved him more than they did now. He was still loved by many, many people all around the world, but now he was also hated by many people too. But wasn’t that what fame came with, a lot of people loving you and a rivaling amount hating you? He never cared that people hated him that never bothered him not even when there were magazine covers with his face on the cover stating something he’d done horribly wrong. Even when he was called a monster, he didn’t care, because most of the time it was true…

How could he really care if they were right? Did he worry that it would hurt that band? At first he did, when his personal life became more interesting to people than his music was, that was truly the only time he worried. He had become an iconic symbol or rock and roll and sex and drugs. He was Jason Levito, everyone knew him as the bad boy that everyone loved and hated at the same time. It had been this way since he was fifteen years old. People loved him… people hated him… and in the eyes of the government he was a menace. Maybe he was, yes, but why was it that people that did worse things than he had done could keep their children but he was losing his. He could support her, he wasn’t hurting her, he wasn’t doing things around her, he tried to be good for her… and still he was going to lose her.

“Jason Levito, do you understand the consequences of your actions on the night of April 17, 2010?” The singer looked at the woman who wore her hair in a short cut and wore too much eye make up to be a judge. He wondered if she looked like this when she had a regular case on the calendar. He figured she probably didn’t, this woman was looking good because she knew who was on her calendar today. Jason Levito… the celebrity trouble maker, of course she wanted to look better than usual, camera’s would be present. “Yes, your honor, I understand.” Jason had said, his voice amplified by the microphone at the stand. The woman looked at him before speaking again. She said things that Jason didn’t understand, and at that point Jason was glad he had a great lawyer.

People worse then him got to keep the custody of their children. People who killed others got to keep custody of their children when they came out of prison after their sentence. So Jason had a drug problem… it wasn’t like he was fucking killing anyone. It wasn’t like he couldn’t support Amber, he had the money, and he could give her everything she wanted and then some. The black haired singer had gone to a local coffee shop, Jittery Joes, to get out of his house where he couldn’t stop thinking of Amber, and to read over some things his lawyers had faxed him.

There were huge stacks of paper beside him on the table as Jason toyed around with his coffee. It was black, straight black coffee with no cream or sugar or anything. He hated reading these things, all the terms and conditions, all the things that he would have to give up in order to have a chance at having his daughter. All the things he would have to lose even if he couldn’t have his daughter, it was ridiculous, and the list was long. The things they were going to do to try to give him custody, he hated this. Wasn’t it a natural right to have the custody of your own child?

[cammie daniele price]

Five Hundred and Fifty dollars. That's exactly what Cammie's life meant to her brother, Jacob. $550 ASAP. What a sweet brother he was. He used to be, back when they were younger. Jacob used to be Cam's best friend. He'd never been afraid of telling her the truth about anything, especially when she was being bitchy or a little too slutty for the Price Household. He always knew how to rein her in. But lately, he'd stopped. He said he felt like he didn't have any way of helping her anymore. Maybe that's why he'd been willing, but very angry, when she called him and asked him to bail her out of jail after a party. "Dammit Cammie, he'd said as they got into the car. What were you thinking? You're lucky I don't tell Dad about this. He'd cut you out of his will. You wouldn't have an inheritance. You'd be screwed for life, Cam. You don't even know what could have happened! You need to learn to control yourself. Stop partying all the time. It's bad for you, anyway. Five hundred and fifty dollars. That's what you mean to me right now. As soon as possible."

It was nice to know she had some value in his eyes. When she paid that off, where would she be to him? No where, she'd be nothing. But instead of paying him the $550 right away, even though she had it easily accessable, she was out today, doing her own thing, being by herself, just spending some quality Cammie Time.

She found herself at some coffee house with a very cliche name, ordering a cup of coffee with a fancy french name. And that's when she spotted him. Jason Levito, the one and only. The one she'd been a total jerk to that night they were all in jail. The one who wanted her that night at the party, and she'd pretty much overlooked. And now, she felt nothing but sorry for that fact. Maybe, if she'd paid more attention to him, he wouldn't be so down right now. Maybe, if she hadn't been totally bitchy, something might have turned out different. Maybe they both could have avoided a trip to jail, if she'd just let him fuck her that night. They could have been upstairs while the police were raiding downstairs. They would have had a ton of warning and time to ditch the house without fear of getting caught if they'd been upstairs and heard the shouting from downstairs.

So, now, as if she were making up for that, she sat next to him. His pile of papers and his black coffee made him look like a stressed artist, which was, in fact, what he was. The photographers and reporters were mostly outside, giving him little to no peace. "Jason..." she said, looking up at him as he studied his papers. "Look, I just wanted to apologize for...you know, the other night. I was awful to you. I shouldn't have been." Hopefully, that would break the ice.

[jason adam levito]

He could hear the chatter of the reporters and photographers outside; he could literally feel the way that the camera’s burned his back. He kept his back turned to them so that maybe they wouldn’t be able to get a single decent picture. He used to try to wear sunglasses and things to make him look a little less like himself, a few years ago he used to have to do that, but now he gave up on it. He was easy to identify, they knew where he lived, and they waited outside his house just to catch a glimpse of him from the gate. They sat by his gate for days if they had to, just to get a story. Jason lived the life of a celebrity, a life of no privacy.

“Jason if you agree to these terms you’ll have a better chance of being able to have at least visitation with supervision with her. It’s that or nothing, so I implore you Jason, to read these and get back to me as soon as possible.” His lawyer looked desperate for Jason to understand, or maybe Jason was so desperate at that moment that everything looked and felt desperate to him. “There isn’t very much I can do for you, Jason. I wish I could tell you that I could find loopholes and find you a way to have the same custody you’ve had of her until now but I can’t. I don’t know how to. And her mother is starting to protest against you even being allowed visitation.” The last bit of that stung, Ainsley didn’t want him to see her anymore either? What was this? It didn’t seem right to her. “The odds are against you,” Jason could tell he had never had to say that to someone of his status before. “But I’ll fight until there is nothing left to fight.”

He wanted to believe his lawyer wanted to fight for this, but something told him that this was just a way to get more publicity for his firm. This was something to bring in loads of cash, and that was close to all that it was. The singer brought the coffee to his lips and took a sip of it; he noted how cold it was getting. He had probably been sitting here for an hour now. He was afraid to go to his own him; the fear paralyzed him in this seat as he read these terms over and over again. Each time they cut deeper into him. He looked up when he heard the other chair at his table move and a body sit in it. He looked up from the paper and recognized her immediately, Cammie Price, his and Jewels’ cell mate. He sighed at her apology and from habit, licked his lips before he spoke. “You don’t have to apologize to me, Cammie.” The singer muttered, her pity wasn’t necessary because now he was being pitied by everyone that wasn’t trashing him.

“You weren’t the only one being awful that night.” Jason growled mostly to himself. He sat back in his chair and both of his hands ran into his hair as he sighed. “I hate apologies anyway.” The raven haired man stated, trying to change the mood of this so far very short conversation. He didn’t think it would be much longer then it was now anyway. His icy eyes studied her face and he determined that although he shouldn’t be and it would get him no where, he still found her attractive. “I should apologize though, not you, for putting you in that situation. You didn’t need to see what happened between Jewels and I.” He almost cringed at the memory but his body stayed the same, his eyes though seemed to give away what he felt. Regret, anger, sorrow… “I’m not always like that… sometimes people just…lose it.” Jason murmured his voice trailing off.

[cammie daniele price]

"Well if you hate apologies, I can bitch," Cammie offered, smiling a little at him. He probably didn't want any stupid apology. It probably meant next to nothing, coming from her, anyway. What was she to him? A pretty girl, a possible fuck, nothing more. But still, she felt like she wanted to be around him. Cammie really was a sweet girl, despite the obvious evidence against that fact. She sipped her coffee and glanced again at the reporters, and then back to Jason. "I understand, absolutely," she answered his apology. "If I'm not saying sorry, neither are you. We can just have a casual conversation. We'll give the media something to chat about for a while." Jewels would probably be mad if she saw how nice Cam was being to Jason right now. But, for some reason, Cammie felt compelled to bring this man out of his sorrow. He just looked so helpless...and that wasn't a face you saw on Jason Levito. It was a very rare thing indeed, if it had ever been there before.

Of course, she didn't actually believe the papparazzi would start a fantastic rumor about her being the new girl in Jason's life or anything. Tabloids always started things like that over literally nothing. Then again, this was nothing. "You need a break," she decided, looking seriously at him. "You need a distraction. You need...you need to look like Jason again, the sexy one in all the pictures all over the internet and in magazines." Oh, and of course she was just the one to do it.

She figured he'd reject her offer. And if he did, she'd write him off as the frustrated hot shot rock star, the one who didn't need help from random girls, the one who didn't ask for help. He probably never asked for help, even when he desperately needed it. But, she wasn't really offering help. She was simply offering distraction, in whatever form he needed. No drugs or alcohol, of course. She wouldn't provide that. But she could provide just about anything else. All he needed to do was say the word.

[jason adam levito]

For the first time in a quite some time a real laugh escaped the singer’s lips. His mouth had been fixed in a frown for too many years, and at this moment a real laugh hit him by surprise. Of course he didn’t even know her but he should have expected her to say that rather than apologize she could bitch. It was a nice thing, to laugh again and really feel it, to have a smile reach his eyes. Jason truly had a beautiful smile; it was just so rare to see. He smiled, yes, but it was filled with something other than happiness. It was filled with sadness many times, and often it was just empty, more like something cutting his lips in half and baring his teeth rather than a smile.

“Prepare yourself, Cammie Price, you are now going to be dubbed my newest girlfriend because you’re here talking to me right now while they,” Jason pointed to the photographers outside the coffee house, he simply nudged his thumb at them to point them out. “Are out there taking hundreds of pictures and many will be sold to magazines and websites.” Jason seemed oddly alright with the fact that the photographers were out there. He seemed strangely fine with the fact that there were so many things said about him, it was like he was used to it. But then a person had to think, Jason Levito was only fifteen years old when his life turned into this. He had to be okay with this life when he became this heartthrob, this object in the eye of obsession. “Hopefully being linked to me wont destroy your reputation with other men.” He joked.

She said he needed a distraction so he could be Jason Levito again, the sexy one. He had to agree kind of. He needed a distraction but what could distract him from this? This was absolutely like hell to him, how could he not think about Amber? The singer had gotten a little scruffy, but the look worked for him, his hair was at his usual length and he had scruffy facial hair. He pulled the look off at least; it just wasn’t exactly Jason Levito as he had been known. It was Jason Levito, the man that really lives in real life, not Jason Levito the iconic rock star. “And you’ve got ideas on this distraction?” He asked, the smile returning to his lips.

[cammie daniele price]

Cammie laughed a little, sipped her coffee some more, and then looked back at the photographers once more. "Let's give them something to talk about," she told Jason, returning her gaze to meet his eyes. His smile, his real smile, was gorgeous. She was glad to have seen it. She reached over the table and brushed a lock of hair from his face. "Can they read lips, or can I talk to you normally?" she joked, pulling her hand away from his face. But how far would Jason be willing to take this? She offered distraction. Messing with the cameramen was one thing, giving them a good story, that was fine. "Come on." Without waiting for another word, she stood up and took him absently by the hand. She led him out of the little coffee shop and across the street to her parked car, a 2010 Cadillac XLR convertible. A beautiful little 2-seater silver car, all white leather interior. It screamed, "Cammie Price."

"Get in, we're going to do something fun." She walked around to the drivers' side of the car and got in, put on her seatbelt, turned the car on, and waited for Jason. "Anything you want, Jay. Your wish is my command."

[jason adam levito]

She’d called her Jay. People didn’t call him that anymore, not unless they wanted to be socked in the face by a strangely strong vegan. “I don’t really know. I guess some of them could, I couldn’t tell you for sure though.” His icy eyes narrowed on Cammie’s face, a huge part of him wondered why the hell she was doing this. She did know that he was into her right? He left his coffee but grabbed his stack of papers when she had said come on, he held her hand when she grabbed it and a small smirk twisted the corners of his lips upward. Right when they walked out of Jittery Joes there were camera’s flashing and people hounding them down. “Jason! Over here Jason!” “Who’s the girl?” “What’s her name?” “Is that your girlfriend?” “How is the trail coming?” He hated them sometimes, well when he could actively hear them.

He got into the car and shook his head. “You know you make me look bad, you driving and all.” The singer laughed. He looked over to his car, the black car was not left alone, there were two men leaning against it disappointed that Jason hadn’t come that way. He offered a small smile to the photographers as he ignored the questions that kept rolling. “Seriously I don’t know what to do. Let’s get out of here though. We’ll think of something.” Why the hell was this happening?

[cammie daniele price]

"I'd let you drive, but I would never trust a man with my baby," Cammie answered, shrugging. With that, she hit the gas and the tires squeeled a little and then they pulled away. She slowed down enough to pull a California Stop at the stop sign, and within seconds, they were away from the cameramen and she began driving sanely again. "My place or yours?" she teased, offering him a smile as she merged onto the freeway. At this point, she was game to just randomly take a little road trip with him, as long as she could bring that gorgeous smile to his lips again. Damn, what was wrong with her? She knew he wanted her, but she didn't want him. She just liked his smile. And she liked seeing him happy. It looked like he didn't get to be happy very often. Maybe that would change. But then, what about Jewels? Jewels had been her friend for a while. And she was hanging out right now with "the enemy", or at least, who was probably the enemy.

She mentally shook the thoughts out of her head. That didn't matter right now. She was enjoying his company, and that was what was important. "So, any ideas yet? We've got nothing but road ahead of us with a world of opportunities, just waiting to present themselves."

[jason adam levito]

Her baby, was that what this was? She drove kind of like a maniac for this to be her baby. What could he say though? He honestly was not much better of a driver, Mister Jason Levito who would easily hit speeds of 90 MPH in a 45 zone. “Mine. I’ve got a shit load of things to keep us entertained.” He wasn’t referring to what she might have thought he would have on the night of the party. He was really talking about the ridiculous amount of things his house had to offer. A pool, a lake, a recording studio, a sauna and even an elevator. Jason had many other things at his house; those were just a few of the things off the top of his head.

“Do you like animals?” He asked. He had a lot of pets, only three pets that he really let the world know much about though. Three dogs were public to the world, but he had other animals. He had a cat, he had a goat simply because he was stoned out of his mind when he decided to get it and it actually just roamed the land that he’d fenced in, he had a few horses but they were way the fuck out there on the land, he even had a turkey because once again, a stoned Jason at a petting zoo would end up in the purchase of a few random animals. Then the thought hit him… he didn’t want to be at his house. “Never mind, lets go anywhere but that fucking house.” He tried to hide the pain in his voice, but for once he wasn’t sure if he had.

“Let’s go to the river.” Jason murmured. “It’s always empty there, and it’ll fuck with the photographers if they see.”

[cammie daniele price]

"I'll bet you do," Cammie answered, laughing at his answer. She was sure he knew it sounded a lot like he was referring to sex, but she was glad when, in the end, he decided not to go to either of their houses, but the river instead. "Anywhere but that fucking house, it is." She took the next exit off of the freeway and began driving in the direction of the river. She was determined to stay off of subjects that would bring Jason out of his current -somewhat- happy state and straight back to his depression, but she wasn't sure what would be good to talk about, and what wouldn't be.

"So, Jay, what do you do for fun?" What a stupid question. But what else was she supposed to talk about with him? "God, I sound like a fucking interviewer person, don't I? Sorry, feel free to ignore me." She laughed a little at her rambling. In a few minutes, they were at the river. Just like he'd said, it was pretty quiet here. She'd never spent much time here before, except back when she was teenager. And now, she liked the way it looked. It felt peaceful. "Beautiful," she mumbled, turning off the car and getting out. She stood next to it, waiting for him.

[jason adam levito]

What did he do for fun? He played music, he wrote music, he listened to music, he breathed music; he pretty much let his life revolve around it. Or he would draw, or go take a few pictures. He loved to be with… no, now he was thinking about her. He didn’t let it show, or he tried to. “Anything to do with art really…” He said shrugging he looked at her when she made the comment about being an interviewer and laughed. “If you ask me when the next album will be released then I can agree with that.” That was the question he couldn’t stand in every interview, the question about the next album.

There were times where he had considered just saying, “There wont be another. I’m retiring, all those fans we have, and they don’t matter anymore. I’m bored of music.” He wanted to see what would happen. He knew what would happen. The day a twenty five year old Jason Levito tried to say that there would be absolute pandemonium in the Autumn Falls world and fan base. Maybe even in the rock world.

He stepped out of the car when they got to the river and smiled, walking towards it. The cool damp air was pleasant and the smell of it was nice too. It was natural and beautiful, there was a cool breeze that went along with the current and Jason liked it here more than a lot of other places. “It is beautiful here.” He said, icy eyes landing on Cammie. “Come here.” He held his hand out for her, waiting for her to follow him. To trust him. She could do that, he wasn’t too scary of a guy was he?

[cammie daniele price]

She nodded at his answer. Art. She laughed along with him. "I promise not to ask that question, then," she answered. "I don't want the inside scoop on the famous musician, Jason Levito. I just wanna hang out with Jason for a while, and look at that gorgeous smile some more. If he lets me, of course." She offered him a slight smile and a small shrug. She closed her car door and walked over to him. She took his hand when he held it out to her and stood by his side for just a few seconds, admiring the untouched beauty of the river. She'd never found nature spectacular until right now. It was almost scary to think she'd gone through life missing simple things like this. What a spoiled, rich girl she really was.

"Lead me," she told him, looking away from the river and up into his eyes now. "Anywhere you want." The more she looked around, the more she realized how empty it was here. It was quiet, in a nature kind of way. There were birds and water was rushing by, but you couldn't hear the annoyance of traffic, people weren't shouting loudly at each other. It was peaceful.

Cammie was a party girl, that was true. But maybe there was room for this Cammie too, the Cammie that actually visited places like this and enjoyed them from time to time. Two months ago, that idea would have sounded crazy. A few weeks ago, she would have called you insane if you told her she'd end up enjoying nature with Jason Levito. But look what was happening right then. She was doing just that. There she stood, hand in hand with Jason, staring and actually admiring the river. Shock.

[jason adam levito]

She needed to stop saying those things because they were beginning to make him really like her; they were beginning to make him want to get to know her. Kind of like what he felt with Janell all those years ago, that infatuation. Before the fame, before the girls came into his life; before he turned into the arrogant asshole he was now. Maybe he was still crazy, but he knew one thing… he was falling in love with Janell then and now he felt like he was beginning to fall in love with Cammie here. That scared him, but he held her hand, almost protectively. “I wouldn’t give just anyone the inside scoop, but I suppose the real guy that lives behind the fame, I guess he could give you a smile or two.” His lips were curved into a smile, something beautiful, something rare and something that touched those cold, stony eyes. He was beautiful person, inside and out if you got to see that part of him. It was hard to bring it out, but some people hit a lucky day and saw it.

Jason Levito was a man that appreciated nature, it was strange. Considering that he was raised wealthier than most B-list celebrities and then he was propelled into celebrity stardom. An A-List singer in a very popular band. It was probably an appreciation that developed because of touring. When he toured he was always either on a bus, on a plane, in a car, in a hotel room, in a venue or in a restaurant or at some interview. He didn’t get much of a chance to see the world when he’d toured, he didn’t get to see how things changed and how things bloomed and were beautiful. He saw walls, and lots of them. It made him love nature and the beauty of it.

He led her on a narrow path through the woods, avoiding the bushes and fallen trees as much as he could and he brought her to another part of the river. There was a bend and this part was completely secluded, trees shielded them from all sides and there wasn’t even the sound of a single car passing by. “This, is probably the most beautiful place this river has.” His accent was thick and his voice clearer when there was no way anyone was watching them. The natural defense he seemed to build around himself was off guard for just a few moments it seemed, and he felt human. He felt, for a single moment, like be could breathe with the lungs that stopped working sixteen years ago. It was when he was away from everything and really what felt like his life of masks that Jason Levito was really alive. “I love it here.” That was easy to see.

There was a bridge and he walked towards it, the thing must have been at least fifty years old, there was no way it wasn’t younger than that. He let go of her hand for a moment and faced her. He didn’t even think about it, it just happened because it was perfect at that moment. One hand rested on the small of her back, bringing her closer to him as his other hand reached for her hand again and his lips met hers. He wasn’t cautious about it, he wasn’t even hesitant, it was like he had believed she would let him kiss her. Like he thought she wouldn’t push him away. If she did, he’d deal with that later, but for now, he took what he got.

[cammie daniele price]

Hand in hand, he led her down the river, and she felt so comfortable. Cammie loved being with him all the sudden. This wasn't the man she'd seen so often. This was a side she'd guessed barely anyone got to see. When the stopped, she looked around and admired the place he was showing her. "It's beautiful," she breathed, surprised that she'd never been able to see nature this way before. Of course, she was a city girl. She'd gone camping once, maybe twice in her life. That was when she was younger. She couldn't have appreciated it then. She'd hated it, and so she'd developed a dislike for all things nature. But now, oh now, she adored it. Especially with Jason standing by her side. It didn't get better than this. Oh, and that accent. She adored it.

But she was wrong. It did get better than that. Because, all of the sudden, his lips were on hers. It felt natural, right. Without any thought, her arms snaked around his neck, her fingers through his hair. She wasn't kissing him passionately, but she was kissing him like she enjoyed it, like she enjoyed being here with him. But then, she pulled away. If he looked, he'd be able to see the confusion in her eyes. She couldn't be kissing him. Her arms were still around his neck as she thought about it all. Jewels loved Jason. Jason totally shut Jewels down. Jason was supposed to be a total jerk. But Jason was here, with her right now, being a sweetheart. She'd never seen an honest smile on his face until today, with her. She was sure he'd had them before, but she hadn't seen them in pictures or anything.

"I shouldn't kiss you..." Cammie said quietly, looking up at him, the confusion still evident in her eyes. "But I don't want to stop." And then she pressed her lips against his again, softly, carefully, as if they were both breakable. She could only imagine what would happen if the tabloids got ahold of a picture like this. Jason Levito and Mystery Girl caught leaving coffee shop together in her car. Jason Levito and Mystery Girl caught making out in secluded area by river. Oh, boy. What a story that would be. But right now, the story didn't really matter. Right now, all that mattered was the deliciousness of his lips, the comfort of his arms around her. Goodness, what was happening to her? She felt like a lovesick little girl. And she wasn't even in love. She wasn't even falling for him. There was no chance of that. He was strictly off limits. But, if that was the case, why was she even here with him?

[jason adam levito]

It was impossible for him to think of anything other than what he’d said when she pulled her lips apart from his. His eyes opened and he looked at her, whispering softly. “Don’t...” Wanting to chase after those lips of hers again, wanting to feel them pressed against his. He liked how soft and calm it was, it was so different, it was something electric… even to him. He didn’t feel this way about people, or kisses… he didn’t think he could anymore. But something about this place and this woman made him real and made him feel in a way he never acknowledged that he still could. Maybe as hollow as he felt, maybe over time something in him would be restored… maybe he could come back, maybe it was possible to make some kind of recovery?

He caught the confusion and didn’t understand it until she spoke. She was talking about Jewels, and how she shouldn’t be doing this because of Jewels. He didn’t care, Jewels was a fool to believe that there would ever be something more for them. She was exactly what he had said to her, and maybe a little bit of a close friend as well. He just left the good out and hit her only with the bad. His eyes were soft as they were able to be, still cold, still painfully severe but softer. Just slightly, kind of like the tenderness that came into them when he was with Amber, someone he loved. A tenderness that was hard to bring out of him.

“Then don’t.” He murmured quickly before she pressed her lips back to hers. The hand that wasn’t holding her close to him came to her cheek, brushing gently against it and running into the blonde hair that she had. He didn’t want to stop, he wanted this, but for some reason it wasn’t just because of something like sex or something physical. He wanted this because it stirred things inside of him that had sat vacant and dead for too many years. It made him feel like he wasn’t Jason Levito the rock star, it made him feel like he was Jason Levito, the British man. The feelings brought a sense of mortality into him, a sense that he wasn’t invincible, a sense that things could affect him. Pain could reach him, love could reach him, tenderness and kindness wasn’t something he should shy away from. “I’m begging you,” Jason murmured leaning is forehead to hers. “Don’t think about anything else right now… please.”

What if Jason Levito was sane after all?